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You are here: Home Articles Actions Speak Louder Then Words

Actions Speak Louder Then Words

It’s not necessarily what you say that will aid your success, it’s the unsaid language that counts.

We all know, and have probably practiced, correct interview behaviour. You know the good practices – firm handshake, look the interviewers in the eye, maintain a relaxed, balanced posture, don’t fiddle with your hair and so on. But remember that the importance of body language does not stop once you have got the job – it is of ongoing significance in the way we are viewed by other people every single day.

Body Language - Conveying a Message

Studies carried out in the 1960s by communications expert Professor Albert Mehrabian concluded that the words we speak account for only seven per cent of the message we are trying to convey. The rest of it comes from the way we speak (38%) and from our body language (55%). People pay more attention to the signals given out physically than the actual spoken word.

In other words – it’s not what you say, but how you say it that leaves the lasting impression. This is the ‘impact’ of our communication on others and in turn, we are impacted by theirs. We decipher the full message by interpreting signals from tone of voice and body language.

Communicate The Right Signals

The benefit of understanding body language – both your own and other people’s, is that you can work to communicate the right signals and accurately interpret the signals of others, despite the words they say. Many people are good at controlling their body language and ensuring that the words, tone of voice and body language are all saying the same thing. Yet, if one area is going to let us down, it is our body language. This is known as ‘leakage’ and offers visual clues to what is going on behind the mask.

Every part of the body has an important part to play in conveying the right message and how others perceive you is down to you.

In a sense, we are all experts on body language already. Consider how others react at work with visual signals. Can you recognise anxiety and nerves, aggression, malaise, or a lack of interest? Can you interpret the following examples, without looking at the answers at the end of the article?

Quiz

1. standing with hands behind back, chest proud, chin slightly raised
fingers in a steeple
foot tapping
nose touching
fiddling with a tie or jewellery
looking downwards with head tilted to one side
looking away to left or right when being spoken to
sitting with pen held in front of you
doodling
scratching head

Now check how well you did.

Hidden Messages

Well, that is a start, but how many negative signals can you identify in yourself? Are you self-aware?

Even when you are not speaking you are sending messages and one of the most obvious ways of communicating is through eye contact, but even this must be done with care. Maintaining eye contact with the person you are talking to for about 60% of the time makes you appear interested, but more than this can become aggressive and may be interpreted as signalling anger or even sexual attraction. If you move your eyes away too much people will not trust the message being given. No eye contact at all demonstrates submissiveness and people who do not make eye contact are more likely to be interrupted.

Both the tone of your voice and the speed at which you speak are crucial as they account for 38% of the message you are giving. Many people raise their voices almost to a shout without even realising they are doing it. Some see this as being firm, when in fact it can have a negative effect on the audience to whom it is intended. Nervous people tend to speak faster and their message comes out garbled. It’s important to pay close attention to the way you speak to ensure that the message you are giving out is actually the one you intend.

Your Head

What you do with your head during conversation also needs to be kept under control. Bobbing your head up and down is a distracting habit, but one that many of us do. An occasional nod, however, signifies that you are listening to the other person and understanding what they are saying. Women, in particular, should avoid tilting their head on to one side, particularly when talking to men, as it is a submissive gesture that makes you appear indecisive. Tilting the head or bending it back when talking to a person taller than you should also be avoided – instead take a few steps back so that your gaze is level with the other person’s. This ensures you are treated as a peer rather than a subordinate.

Space

The space between two people during a conversation is an important aspect of body language. Studies show that powerful people take up more space and have fewer qualms about invading someone else’s space while less powerful people tend to back off. An arm’s length is the ideal distance to maintain. If someone invades your space and makes you uncomfortable, taking a few small steps backwards helps you maintain control.

Sitting

How you sit and behave at meetings says a lot about you. High level managers generally take their place at the head of the table, but for team leaders it is often better to sit within the team because this way you are physically closer to the group - a round table is better as there is no ‘power’ position and everyone appears equal. Some people make the mistake of leaning back in their chair with their hands clasped behind their head believing this projects a relaxed, friendly image. Because this posture takes up a lot of space it actually demonstrates a dominant image and can be off-putting to the other people present. The chair of a meeting should never gaze up at the ceiling for long periods, as this signifies disinterest in what is being discussed.

Hands and Arms

Arms and hands need to be kept under careful control. Hands should be visible, not in pockets or under the table, as this looks unprofessional. While a little arm movement is acceptable, excessive waving around, which you may think demonstrates enthusiasm, can been seen as immature. Arms, of course, should never be folded across your chest because it demonstrates a lack of interest in what the other person is saying. Legs, too, can cause problems. Move them around too much and you will appear nervous. Although the preferred position for feet is flat on the floor, if you have to cross your legs, do it at the ankles. Never rest one ankle on top of the opposite knee as this will make you look arrogant.

Bad Body Habits

Many people have little habits, which, although not offensive in themselves, in the workplace can give off the wrong signals. For instance, playing with a strand of hair indicates boredom or anxiety; stroking your neck can make you seem stressed, slouching in your chair makes you appear lazy.

How We Can Help

For some people, simply being aware that their body language is letting them down is enough to spur them into making a conscious effort to stop what ever little habit they have. For others who wish to learn the skill of achieving assertive rather than aggressive or passive body language, attendance on ‘Influencing and Persuading Others’, ‘Assertiveness Skills’, ‘Supervisory Skills’ or ‘Management Skills’ courses will provide this opportunity.